明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。有时候很低落，觉得自己其实一无所有，仿佛被世界抛弃。明明自己身边有很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。有时候很想放纵自己，希望自己彻彻底底醉一次，醒来就能把什么都忘记。明明有着自己的梦想，却是力不从心。有时候握得越紧，失去的也越快····

為什麼
為什麼那個人要是我
為什麼我那麼沒用
為什麼別人做得到的東西我就做不到
為什麼相比之下我還是一文不值
為什麼我是如此愚蠢
為什麼別人所有的思想都那麼被我羨慕
為什麼我是我
為什麼 為什麼 到底是為什麼這世上有那麼多的為什麼？


-


就在那一剎那之間我忽然覺得所有人都好像都很無辜似的

全部人都在忙，唯獨我一個那麼閒空在這寫我的部落
吊吧 ;D ♥

无助一篇

昨天无意之间跟我老姐聊起了我们家庭的背景和未来
发现我们姐弟俩和妈都好可怜的
常常被恶骂
而别人都不敢说什么 也不敢帮
原因是因为可能对方对外人太好了他们不敢相信?
随便
想到我的未来就有点想离开这世界的感觉
我家庭关系很差 我必须保护她们被他欺压
我要报仇
我就看他能活多久
日后他就看着
我必定拿钞票丢死他
这没本事的家伙
不过还是先为现在打算吧
我不想出国了
就打算在这里的大学读了算
反正人生就没什么意义的
成绩也没怎么好
等下读不起又浪费钱
所以在哪读都无所谓了

-

世界上最可怕的事情
不是死亡 也不是压力
而是被折磨个几十年
我最近整天梦到自己会怎么死怎么死之类的
醒来时也常满身大汗
那些感觉好真
好像我真的就要离开了
我不怕也不畏惧
反正死亡也是迟早的事情
可能在多年之后
可能在不久的未来
更可能就在下一秒
我现在什么都放下了
可以说我这人没什么感情了
((觉得我好适合读心理学))
这刻可能跟朋友有说有笑
下一刻就可能在那发呆看'天空'
我的人只剩下躯壳
就像一个灵魂已被偷走的傀儡
常年累月就只被其主人所控制
替它的主人效命 没有宗旨的家伙
而我的主人
却是个虚无的仇恨
是被它而操作
不过我能怎么样?
这是我的命运吧
虽然不怎么能接受
不过勉为其难的就接受吧
反正..

仇恨使人类变得
更坚强，更成熟 :)

我还是原来的我_;)

至少表面上看起来是吧
I'm just myself_;)
An undefeatable me.

A strong scorpio_;)

What a day.
It's another visit to redbox.
With KevinL, SimYee, ChoonYi, JiaYi and Ee tyng.
Which is organized by.... KevinL I think. XD
I went one stop that morning,
Then go to 1st Avenue with all my 'tools'
And I threw everything into my ugly bag ((Pity it)) Hahax
As I lazy to pack my another bag dy so I took this bag lo. :P
Sounds so shameful with a big bag I took
Then I eventually reached 1st
KevinL and Ee Tyng come to pick me up. Hehe
And we took the lift up,
Nearly vomit inside the lift,
The Malay's perfume is so damn irritating><
At the same time, KevinL told me that there's a bitch
A little old ugly short-hair bitch who served them with a BAD serving attitude
Then ask me to fast fast run into the room to not let her see me
((How lame :O))
The first thing I do when I go in the Redbox room is
Snatch the mike with Khoo Jia Yi!!
Then we shout around like hell because of the mike
I lose my sound before I start singing><
Then I start sang along with them
This time dunno how,
Cant seem to be very crazy very happy as usual.
Sorry la guys,
I'm so not in a good mood that day. :'(
But at least I din show that face out right? :)
Perhaps I know why am I keep moody these days.
Since I know the truth.....
I don believe that but...
Wait one day I will find out whether it's real or not...Haihhh
And so what?
Nobody's gonna defeat me.
Not you either ;)

And here we are, the singing gang. ;D

Legs of honor! :P

Lastly, here I am.
A strong scorpio.
Who ever keep everything with himself.
And that's it
I'm a irreplaceable me.
I'm just myself_;)

Please stop stalking my brain!

Okay.
Now school reopen dy.
The first paper I get FAIL!
Second paper FAIL also!
Until the third subject I totally no mood.
I never get such a low marks before.
((I mean the marks on previous two papers))
But when I get the paper at least feel a bit better la.
As eventually I pass a subject and is improved!
Just that the teacher dunno why deduct 2marks. Dehh!! ><
Then school dismiss! *Pheww.. What an eventually*
Until today morning.
Get my both math marks.
Totally fed-up la wheyy.
Never get such a low marks!
Although it don considered as fail officially.
But to me, that's a FAIL and is a big one. :(
And other sub today.
Each one just like killing me.
Today totally no mood!
Just my smile are fake.
I wan get back the result I get in the first term exam!
And the sitting place.
To me, different sitting place means different luck!
So please don change my place again!
Darn.
I will keep myself awake!
Make Ah Wat my Exam Opponent again!
Will not let her win me again!
She's strong!
I would be as strong as her in next exam!
((But would I really do? Nobody knows ]= ))

Fortunately I go outing almost everyday when don have CO activity! Wahaha!
If not, now also don have the mood to go out le. ;)
Suddenly feel that I'm so smart. XD

Again I'm just myself_;)
Nothing can defeat me.
Not even you.
My dearest result :D

Black and white_;)

Owhh..
Eventually exam is over dyy wheyy!
Suffer from the running nose during exam.
Hope it will fast fast recover.
I wanna sing sing sing!
Long time din go to redbox sing dy.
So miss that moment.
The moment that I get to release my pressure.

-

Pressure is exerted on me now.
Nearly cant breath.
As....
As somebody is gonna leave me,
leave Heng Ee and transfer to another school.
My life in CO is all relies on him.
He is my one and only good mate in CO.
I can predict my life at CO without him.
I will be watching at my sit beside me when I'm in a bus with CO.
He always sit at there for years, but unfortunately now it's empty.
((And I dunno if I could stand that when I take the journey bus to Genting D:))
There would be nobody accompany me when recess or toilet.
Nobody is to entertained me when I'm exhausted.
The most important one is,
there will not have anybody to comfort me after being scold completely. Haihh. :'(
And I conclude that with a sentence.
My Life Would Be Extremely Suck!

I would look like alone in there dyy.
I dunno if I could still be alive.
I had think of giving up and quit that.
I'm really tired of that.
I'm extremely frustrated by now. :(
But....
Haihh. Just forget about that la.
As what I said last time.
I would used to be lonely,
I would love to be lonely,
I would enjoy the loneliness.
So, will I survive?
With my life alone?
I dunno. Don't ask me.
I just know that I'm always just myself.
Although I am nothing.
But still, I live with my rules,
with my own concept of life.
Nothing could change my style.
Just that I would not be happy though.

Good luck and all the best kevin!
I'm always with you.
Always support you.
You know why?
Cause I'm your sole_;)

Changes occur ;)

最近
我的生活变得忙了起来
好像都没什么的
不过就是这里忙一点那边又忙一点
凑起来就变成个大忙人了! 哈哈
不过的却
最近补习多了
（不过我还是觉得不够
所以还在找着补习）
功课变得又多又不会做了
在家的时间也相对的少了许多
睡眠时间少了
脸也残了 痘痘也多了! (啊啊啊..我接受不到啊!) ><
享受的时光也渐渐消失了
就连买衣服、唱歌的时间/心情也愈来愈渺茫
可是幸好的是
我说话多了
思考多了
而且每一天还是那么stim! XD
又有了这种感觉说随时随地都会昏去
还好至今都没有啦 :PP
-

“人生就像 Angry Bird 当你失败的时候总会有几只猪在旁边笑你”
觉得这句话挺有意思的
试想想我们到底有几个是真心对你的
又有几个是会在你最伤心失落之时真心地去抚慰问蔚下你
如果你有这样的朋友就你幸运咯 ;D
但我有么?
我不知道
反正朋友都不会知道我几时有伤心过的啦
所以还是那句，算了吧! :)
-

星座角落

【天蝎座】
最会扮酷
说话最毒
得失心最重
最会复仇
最神秘
生气时最可怕
最不相信人性
最会保密
最性感
最不易上当
最阴险
//
讨厌和别人一样
觉得过去的自己很傻、很天真
会以沉默敷衍别人
最讨厌令人焦虑不安的事
//
其实天蝎座很硬朗
不开心的时候会故意隐藏自己
只是想让自己显得更独立更坚强
（但有谁知道这只是表面罢了，内心的我们还是那么地脆弱）

**好准喔 :(**

我就是那可爱又自恋的蝎子啦! :PP

First visit!

Wheyy, that's my first visit to Straits Quay!
Owh gosh, that's so grand. :D
Okay, just a short visit for my lunch.
Went Charlie Brown to eat.
The food there not bad.
But quite expensive. >.<

This angle not nice. ><My sister.Just simply take without looking also so nice.
Owhh, Charlie welcomes me! XDDCaptured the cute snoopy from my table. XDFrom near. ( Cute lehh )Owh, my food.
Quite dry and salty. But I just like it. :PMy coffee latte. ：目See? Told you it is expensive. :(

-

Then my sis ask me to try to drive the car and see.
My driving skills was so qi kek! XD

Looks down from upside of the parking lot there.Heading my way to TESCO at Tanjung Bunga.And we arrived TESCO!Lastly, my sis said that she will never let me be her driver anymore. XDD

-

Last time celebrate birthday with the form5-s!
This time asked three from5 whose birthday is on June or July come out to 'bite the candle'!
And Zhou Hai's the first one.
They push his face towards onto the cake on the while he bite the candle!
After that nobody dares to bite that. XD

That's the cake at first.

And this is the cake with Zhou Hai's face's shape! XDD!Pity him with his face full of cream. Hahax!Then everybody starts the 'Cream Fight'!
And is the most high time!
After that I think most of the form5s' face have cream on their face. XD
Did they enjoy it? Hahax
The washing after they finish the 'Cream Fight'.The cleaning after that. (( I'm on the right ;DD ))

Will miss you all..
Dunno next year's celebrating birthday got so high or not. XD

-

My current facebook status.
That's what nowadays the stupid Malaysian's sight.
They're not open or modern at all.
How foolish. -.-

女人出街手牵手→正常
男人出街手牵手→gay
女人一起喝一杯水→没什么大不了
男人一起喝一杯水→恶心
女人爱哭→小事
男人爱哭→没种
女人打架→哇 ! 厉害
男人打架→不良少年
女人爱撒娇→可爱
男人爱撒娇→死啊瓜
女人抱在一起→感情很好
男人抱在一起→心理变态
女人打男人→该打
男人打女人→暴力
女人强奸男人→没人相信
男人强奸女人→坐牢吧你
女人穿男装→好酷哦
男人穿女装→死人妖
女人扮可爱→好想抱下
男人扮可爱→滚远远啦
女人打篮球→太帅了
男人玩洋娃娃→你这娘娘腔

做男生的好可怜 :(

(( By Yee Kai ))

Redbox!

Owh, again it's redbox time! XD

Went with KevinL , ShuEn , JiaYi and EeTyng.
With the fetch of KevinL, eventually I know how to walk from one-stop to Gurney. -.-
Thanks KevinL. Hahax
As I'd said redbox is a place to vent.
So I sang lots.
But the problem is, not enough time to sing all of the songs. ><
[[ Everytime also like that ): ]]

I'm with KevinL's specs.
Singing halfway suddenly recall that I haven't take photo! Hahax.

Me and ShuEn.

Me and JiaYi. ( Both rats )

This one not bad. XD

Most love this one!
As.. I looks cute in this photo! :P
But quite blur leh. ><
ShuEn.
Says this looks like monkeyy. :P
ShuEn and KevinL
ShuEn and JiaYi.JiaYi the colour wolf, what are you doing. Such a funny expression. XD
Shuen, beware of her! Hahax
ShuEn use my phone vain. :D

ShuEn and KevinL, they both just looks like a pair of sweet couple. :P

We don sing with our shoes!
So just have to take them off! Pheww*
From the top KevinL , ET , ME , ShuEn and JiaYi.

What a nice day singing with them.
Although that KevinL and ET din sing lots la. XD
Heyy, wait a second.
Where's the photo of KevinL and ME? Goshh..
And seems like ET's face is missing in my camera leh.
Nevermind.
There's always a next time. ：目