FAKE·虚伪

Hi guys. It'd really been a long time since I updated this blog.

Actually I have created three blogs but regarding to some reasons,

I decided to delete them and start my new life without those memories.

And I'm here now to update the things I've been through throughout the whole year of 2013

*You're pleased to switch on your speaker to listen some awesome songs from my favorite singers.

What I can say is that 2013 is definitely not my year.

Quite a lot of ups and downs, but mainly downs are way more than ups LOL

Starting from March I started my college life in Disted with A levels.

Unlike other people I'm quite lonely at first.

As almost everyone in this programme is new to me.

This is why I tend to act cool at the first place.

Try not to be so friendly to others because strangers are untrustable!! lol

(((But of course I failed to do so just after one week. haha

I get to know a bunch of crazy friends in there and went well with them too.

There's nothing really special on this month.

I'm like just study, movie, drama, eat and sleep throughout the whole month.

Then eventually comes to April which is the month that I passed my car test in one shot.

Oh yea forgot to mention that after nearly one year, I eventually passed my Undang test.

Which is quite a disaster to me.

I think I'm already recognizable by the worker there. i.e. a stupid damn old lady==

If I'm not mistaken, this is the particular month that I started to miss all my secondary school friends.

So sad though.

I am pretty sure that something'd happened in May and June,

But I'm so sorry that I can't recall at this moment. Haha

July is a month that is full of happiness.

A bustard just break into my life easily and say hello to me.

That bustard let me think that life is still full of hope.

And somehow I started to be optimistic and yet mysterious.

Once I thought that having that one is enough.

I start to rely on you and share my everything with you.

I even can get security from you.

Now I'm wondering WTH is wrong with me on that time.

But then you proves that I am wrong.

Everything about you and me ends at the night of 16th October

Trusting you is my choice, but proving me that I am wrong is yours..

I am really speechless on this relationship.

Wouldn't like to talk much about the reason why will end up like this.

But it does bring some negative effect to me.

I've caught on insomnia for couple of days and this makes me can't sleep early after then.

((Not earlier than 2am I mean

YET I'm twine by that particular nightmare for weeks!!

I bet you won't ever get my feeling==

As at this moment when I get torturing like hell you're happily living with other guy(s).

I'm really sick about this..

But what can I do? You're already strictly not even is my friend.

Lack of sleep greatly increases my forgetfulness,

This really is a awful to happen on exam period like now==

Besides, I've lost my great appetite.

i.e. I am definitely going to left just bones with covered skin in my body soon LOL

These can recover very soon for me but I've lost something important in this case.

They are faith and security especially is in friends

I tend to think that everyone in this world that are talking with me is fake.

Fake emotion, fake action, fake conversation and fake relationship.

I'm really frustrated to live on with such thoughts of me. haih..

You know what? I do regret to get to know you.

But I don't and also will never hate you.

Because hating you will take my whole life to remember you.

So I choose to forget you.

Somehow, my birthday wish this year was to caught on some not that serious kind of accident, hope to lost all of my memories and start my new life without those stupid shadows.

I hope what's coming on my life will be wonderful. ((In my dreams I think. Haha

To be continue...

I should thank you if you're managed to read until here. Cause I'm not that kind of person that is prone to tell stories. To thank you, I'm gonna introduce you some of my favorite singers. Everyone of them had just or yet to released a new album of them. And I'm really craving badly to have the album of three of them><

First of all is the muscular and talented Jason Chen!

His new album "What If Acoustic" is just released weeks ago :D

 My goddess Avril Lavigne!!! <3

She just get her second marriage with Chad Kroeger at September if I'm not mistaken

And her album "Avril Lavigne" had just released on late October! Craving to have one!

Lastly is the handsome, cool and well skilled dentist/singer Alfred许廷铿!!!

He's going to have his first and ever concert at Hong Kong!

The title of the concert named "TIMES" on 28th & 29th Dec (Two days!)

How I wish I am there :(

And also will be selling his brand new album on the concert. Awww

Nightmares, A Broken Childhood

童年对每一个小孩子都会是这一生中最为重要的
他们会拥有快乐的童年，美好的家，幸福的生活
童年的一切也造就了现今社会中每一个人的品质、个性
在正常小朋友里的童年将会是无限美好及充满憧憬的
而我的童年却是一场悲剧、
造就我现在这么样的一个我的噩梦
我拥有一个极为不快乐的童年
让我自卑了好一阵子
也大概要患上自闭症了吧

每当自己一个人没事做时我都会想，
想着童年？
我根本就没有得选择我自己想要的童年
常常埋怨为什么上天对我这么不公平
会有如此的一个家
家里大小事务都被一个很伟大的人扛了下来
她很努力的要教好每一个人
可是那又怎样
都被另外的一个他给破坏了
我就像在一个单亲家庭里长大的
不过如果真的是单亲家庭长大会还好吧
一回家就搞到家无宁日
还记得会为了要跟我抢电视机看而痛打我一顿的
会以为自己很有钱就能拿钱收买所有人
或者说以为自己能有钞票来丢死我们的那种人
如果这世界上没有法律的话你以为你还会活到现在？
我也常在想为什么我的学校就是没有宿舍
这么一来我就不用回这个烂透的家了

因为里边就是有一个尼玛的仆街
我那本来可以幸福快乐的童年就被你一手给毁了！
 我承认我没有哥哥姐姐那么幸运
曾经得到过那一丝丝的父爱
可是算了吧
我在很小的时候我的爸爸就已经死了
我是靠我妈妈养活我的
而你？跟我没关系的给我滚远一点！ :@

Thousands and tons of W.H.Y.?

Why is it that I deserved a life like this?
I really can't accept it.
There's too much questions in my mind.
And these will be something that won't ever be solved in my life.
As..I WILL NEVER SHARE MY ACTUAL FEELING, THOUGHTS OR QUESTIONS TO ANYBODY.
Many times you will find me talking to myself.
But I don't think that many people noticed that.
I asked myself questions.
But I will never get myself answers no matter how hard I tried to answer it.
I just wanna find a right person to tell.
Cause I never trust a person 100%..
So if I did tell my secret to others.
I can't confirm that that person won't spread rumors about me and so on.
I have too much of hesitating, guessing and worrying about a person.
You may know me facing some problem,
but I won't ever sounds out them.
This may be my BIGGEST PROBLEM.
How?
How can I live a life like this?!
I'm tired.
Tired of everything in my stupid and meaningless life.
I hope that it can end as soon as possible.
As my stupid retarded life is not for me to live on.
I cant stand all of these breathtaking task that GOD throw for me.
Why I should walk through all these things?
Why? Can you just give me an answer?
Just a simple one will do.
Ohh no. I know there wont be one. That's the fact.
Okay. I accept it.
Don't drive me insane will be the best thing YOU ever treated me la weyy..
I'm finding a person that I can throw anything to..
I'm too tired dy.
Tired for keeping everything in my heart.
It's now low in memory.
I need a pendrive indeed..
For me to transfer all my questions into it.
So that they won't burst my heart into pieces.
When the day I can't stand it anymore,
Wait and see what will I do to end all of these.
Just back off in my life!

 This is me. A simple me with a complicated heart.

 

Hmm..
Recently really happened too many things in my life.
I never think before I will attend my friend's funeral.
It's a NEVER!
But it happens on me a month ago.
She's the first and ever one that I attended such a young person's funeral.
Although I never talk to her before..
But we walk by at school canteen just the day before he commit into hospital.
Until now I still can't forget her eye sight that she used to watch at me.
It's so sad to recall about it.
I cried deeply for just two girls in my entire secondary school life.
And she is the second one.
Wish that she could rest in peace in another world. Best blessing for her :)

;D

Recently,

Somebody gifted me a thing as my birthday present (forgot is last year one or this year one dy).

But however must say thankiew very very much!

Such a nice watch. Haha

It suits my white white skin :P

And when I become blacky, it will suit me either.

As it really nice (Although it looks a little gay but who cares? XD)

 

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A spec really control one's everything.

It can make you like sohai or make you like a star.

And me without any hairstyle,

My handsome level would be control all by my spec.

So now I'm finding to do a spec with a nice frame.

Who got any suggestion please inbox me.

Any advice are appreciated ;)

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Currently there's a junior of mine caught a serious disease that names liver failure.

And she's now committed in hospital's ICU.

Seems still sleeping and meet uncle chew for a long period of time dy.

Friends, help her.

Pray for her, just a short prayer before you sleep.

Perhaps this may help.

Hope she can woke up and come to see my blog as soon as possible.

And we'd folded many cranes for her.

Just hope that they will guide her way back.

God Bless :)

-

After two weeks, or perhaps less than two weeks.

Our horror is gonna began again.

It's like a war.

A never end war.

Last time I lose the fight.

Nearly cannot craw back and stand up.

But now I decided to stand up and fight again.

As I know, I will never lose to the stupid horror to everyone.

And that wont be my horror. :P

Besides, I found that I love it.

As when exam I can just concentrate on my study but no other interrupt in ma mind.

I do enjoy myself when it's just full of one thing.

No matter what it is in ma mind, I just indulge myself in it.

Keep our optimism life

Generate our happy and healthy anatomy ! <3

*I believe that as long as we think positively everything just will go right* ;)

;)

首先想说的就是冷落了我的部落格有好一段时间了
而我终于回来了唷 ~! ;D

今年都很忙耶，又加上本人非常懒惰的说
所以今年到了四月才来更新我的部落
想说本来有好多好多的东西要po上来的
不过每次都总是有阻碍的

刚刚过的哪一个学期都过得好辛苦
一时又华乐一时又补习过后还考试
真的是让我喘不过气来
而也因如此我第一次考试才真是前所未有的烂
而且这成绩是要在家长日那天给父母看的咧
可以说是死定了啦
第一次家长日那么猥琐><
答应自己下次考不好就不要出去了
我的承诺 说了就算 :)

 -

新的自我

许多久违不见的朋友都发现到了一件事情
就是我变了
我变得话很多很多
说真的，其实我的确是个不怎么爱说话的人
只是有时候我在这形势逼人的情况下就得开口
不爱说话只是怕开口就得罪人
可曾听过祸从口出吧 ?
就是这个意思唉 ~

其实最近做什么都似乎不怎么顺利似的
上学忘记带功课
钱包带了却忘记装钱
手表不见了有找回
书包无缘无故破了
最重要的是我的UNDANG FAIL了 !!
最接收不到的就是这个了咯
不用紧，相信下次去一定PASS的 :D

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最近发现自己越来越白了耶
所以都在很努力地晒黑当中
很乐观地说我已经黑了一些
还要再很努力很努力地加油
我可不要变成什么小白脸呢 ;P

明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。有时候很低落，觉得自己其实一无所有，仿佛被世界抛弃。明明自己身边有很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。有时候很想放纵自己，希望自己彻彻底底醉一次，醒来就能把什么都忘记。明明有着自己的梦想，却是力不从心。有时候握得越紧，失去的也越快····

為什麼
為什麼那個人要是我
為什麼我那麼沒用
為什麼別人做得到的東西我就做不到
為什麼相比之下我還是一文不值
為什麼我是如此愚蠢
為什麼別人所有的思想都那麼被我羨慕
為什麼我是我
為什麼 為什麼 到底是為什麼這世上有那麼多的為什麼？


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就在那一剎那之間我忽然覺得所有人都好像都很無辜似的

全部人都在忙，唯獨我一個那麼閒空在這寫我的部落
吊吧 ;D ♥